Spiraling Down Down......down

I haven't updated my blog for awhile, a long while.  Unfortunately there has been a lot going on rather than just being lazy. I wish it was lazy...

Since my last post my mother ended up in he hospital for a stomach issue, discharged, went back in with pneaumonia which put her ass right in ICU for 23 days.  This was it.  I was pretty sure she was a gonner.  She happened to be staying with me at the time waiting for surgery on her small bowel when her body was taken over less than 24 hours after a doctor appt.  Literally, it was overnight and I drove her to the ER in he nic of time.  So the next 23 days was spent with my brother's family of 7.  Mom is doing great now and is living in a rehabilitaion center awaiting surgery in just a few weeks.

Then there's that work thing, summer, kids, photography, taxes....I can't tell what is happening to make my days go by so fast but it's frightening! Let's add my husbands inability to communicate anything of value, a 3 year old daughter with medical issues and a house to clean, what? 

OK, so enough ranting.  I believe since my last post there has been a lot of changes in my stroller world.  The Bugaboo is out, I then purchased a Macalaren Volo which has been great.  I still think a reclining seat would be nice but we are using strollers so infrequently (mostly to due to me not being able to get away to do anything fun) that I can't imagine spending more money on another stroller.  Ahem...what?  Did I just say that?  Wow, I must be cured, well at least until the next baby...  We did get a new kitten, does he get a stroller?

There is something seriously wrong with me....

As I mentioned before, I sold almost all of my strollers.  I did keep the Bob but my DD is 3.  We are done, so I thought. 

A recent trip to Nordstrom proved otherwise.  As we quietly walked into the store having some one on one time, all hell broke loose.  First it was the blood curdling scream that immediately made every person in that store turn there head and look at me with shear horror.  My DD was freaking out like a dead person was modeling clothes in the window. Um...No.  It was a mannequin.  The same Mannequins that have been in every store we have shopped in for her whole life. This was just the start of course.  Clearly she was having a hyperactive day and I should have been prepared with a stroller to contain her but wait, dumb ass.  you sold them all.  Yes I have the BOB and yes I could use it but honestly, its a beast and I love it for what it is...an All-Terrain stroller.  Moving on....Next was the moment she ripped her hand out of mine and took off like she just robbed the place. As I'm chasing her running (I still haven't lost the baby weight and may have borrowed a few lb's from my mom), I'm trying to look somewhat normal, not panicked and shit.....not jiggly.  so much for that...she's was headed for the escalator and well, I had to pick it up a notch.  Nearly breaking a sweat I grabbed her arm and realized everyone is still looking at me.  Why do people do this?  I want to scold my sweet child in the most horrific voice possible?  I can't do that if you are all staring at me. 

A quick speech with my teeth gritting, she claims to understand and we move on.  Oh looky, they've installed a salt water tank and put Dory and Nemo in it.  We are in a tad bit of a hurry and now my schedule is completely shot.  For the life of me, I cannot tear her away from the tank.  She is screaming "Look mommy, NEMO" in the loudest voice in the world.  I'm actually OK with that, it doesn't bother me but I have to GO!  Needless to say my 10 minute trip to Nordstrom to get her sized for shoes was an hour and that said...I am now the new owner of both a Maclaren Triumph and Maclaren Volo.


Funny story.  I emailed a bazillion people that day.  Several responded and two with the cheapest price.  I went to look at the first person who responded as I was feeling desperate.  It was a cheap price, cheaper than a crappy umbrella stroller would be.  It was dusty and a tiny bit faded but otherwise in great shape. SOLD...I used it at Fred Meyer and it performed fabulously. Seconds later, I'm driving down the road and lady with the Volo calls.  I decide to go look at it anyway and well, its like new!  I am now selling the triumph and keeping the Volo.  The triumph is heavier and taller and I really just want the smallest, most convenient stroller for quick shopping trips, that's the Volo.  Hopefully some other lucky mama will like the triumph. 

So what is this...I've lost count.  Pics coming soon of my whole stroller whoring....We've had a lot going on in our family and hopefully it will mellow out soon.  Tootles

REMORSE....

Shit!  I sold my strollers.  All but the BOB Revolution.  I was ready to move on both mentally, my DD physically and it felt like we had way too many (we did).  I am totally kicking myself.  My daughter may be willing to walk but I'm not ready to give her that freedom. 

We were diagnosed with a silent disorder..PANDAS.  I am actually getting ready to start another blog about that so I will stay focused on the gear for this one.  The point is, shopping or running errands in public is exasperating when I am spending an enormous amount of time and energy and patience either chasing her or fighting with her to hold my hand...not to touch this or that...come back to me....aaaack.

To prevent me feeling like I have to explain myself to people who are staring at her like she's completely out of control I think I would rather just buy an umbrella stroller.  'Nuf said.  So that solves that issue.  Off I go to look for a lightweight umbrella stroller (not a $25 one either) 
By the by, I sold my beloved Bugaboo.  I don't miss it too much because I have accepted that we moved on but I long for it now again and enjoy my wonderful memories pushing that luxurious ride around.  I know the mommy who bought it for an incredible price will get years of use out of it.  I mean incredible too.  Now that I am cruising Craigslist for fun, I see Bugaboo Frogs for the same price.  Oh well, it's outta here! 

Off I go to start my new blog and search for a new stroller!  Tootles

Kids on a leash...like soap on a rope?

I was just noticing Modern Family has a new episode coming out and the hot topic of kids on leashes is being argued on their facebook page.  It got me thinking about this subject and every ones heavy opinions on this.  I admit, I own a toddler leash.  I bought it when my daughter was two and we were heading to the happiest place on earth.  However, I have never used it and the reason why is not controversial.  My DD bucked around like an untrained puppy.  She is a stroller baby so trips to Disneyland or other crowded establishments proved easy enough since she was fine being pushed around like the princess she is.  That said, the leash is now a toy in the toybox.

Now...DD #4.  Totally different story.  I have since forgotten about the leash but as I was reading the comments on FB about the use of, it got me thinking.  If I knew where that leash was right now, I may consider using it again.  DD #4 is NOT a stroller baby.  She insists on walking.  I'm ok with it, that is not my issue.  DD #4 also fights you tooth and nail on hand holding.  I would actually be fine with her right next to me except she also has no fears.  She will run like the dickens no matter how much I teach her about danger, bribe, threaten, whatever tactic I do to get her to stay close.  It's impossible and the mere thought of taking her in a public place without a stroller or leash scares the dickens out of me.  I'm pretty sure she would chew herself free from the grip of my hand if she could get away with it.

Everyone on the FB page against the leashes is stating factually that a good parent who raises their children properly do not need a leash.  I'm wondering where I have failed?  She is a vibrant, smart, inquisitive child who is extremely independent and has been since day one!  I don't believe breaking her like a wild horse is necessarily good parenting and I also think some mustangs can't be broken.  My gawd, I've often thought there must be something wrong with this child that she cannot be broken.  Does this mean I can't use a leash out of fear of judgement? Truthfully, fear of judgement is not my style but peace of mind is. 

Reign those kids in mama's and papa's.  I would rather you spend the afternoon in your overly crowded public place with peace of mind actually enjoying the day rather than frantically fighting with your child out of fear of losing them.  Worse yet, spending the day frantically LOOKING for your child who has disappeared in a matter of seconds.  People are so quick to pass judgement on one another and honestly, if you lost your kid they would probably point the finger at you for that too. I say, the only time passing judgement is acceptable is when it involves lack of a child's safety and in some cases, the missing leash might actually be that.  Bite your tongues judgement jerks.  I'm looking for our leash today!

Just add that to my list of things to do...

Owning our own business, my freelance photography biz, PTA, working P/T as a professional photographer for another company, cooperative preschool, a social life?, planning events for our family, child activities, walking the dog, feed the fish...oh and laundry? Vacuuming? Dishes?? Am I griping? Not really, my life is full, too full! Just trying to plan a play date becomes a major issue. I came to that crazy notion as I was rescheduling my daughters play date for the 3rd time! it's not that I'm a flake. I'm not disorganized too horribly and I keep a day planner up as much as I can. It seems like I have more on my plate than most and I can't figure out where to cut it.

Obviously I can't not work so that stays.
I have backed off from volunteering a bit....OK.
The kids activities is what's killing me! Music class is mucho importante (even though DH doesn't seem to think so) That is 2 days/week. That stays.
Swimming is also important and temporary so that stays.
T-Ball? Husband refuses to let that one go...stays.
Attending the big boys games....well pretty important and I go as much as I can.
Where do you stop? I have a friend with three young children and she has them in a plethora of activities and her house is of course spotless and she is always the image of perfection, calm, cool and collected. Dressed with thought so it seems, showered every day so it seems. How does she do it?

I would love to see posts from my readers of their organizing tips and success stories. Shortcuts and more. I've started lists. Lists are how I managed my job in the corporate world. At this point I surely feel like I'm missing out on enjoying my family and instead I'm the human taxi. Check-Lists long-term or daily seem to be a great way to keep in "check" where your focus is. Blogging this post is not on my list by the way. :) This would be one of the most common tools for procrastination. That said....leave your comments below! Phew...I'll check that off the list I haven't made yet today. Trust me!

Help I've fallen......and I can't get up!

What a whirlwind this past week has been. I am thinking I need to give Oprah a call and have an intervention. It's really all my fault as I have a hard time saying NO. It's a simple word, No. Why is it that saying this simple two letter word can cause so much trouble. Better yet, why is it that NOT saying this two letter word can cause an enormous amount of trouble.

I am busy. Four kids busy! I work part-time, I do my photography on the side, I'm the PTA mom, my kids are involved in numerous activities, my husband and I run our own remodeling company, I don't have a housekeeper (but a great mom who helps) and my goodness, the list goes on. I'm overwhelmed and I can figure out where to stop and where to start.

I was lucky enough to be invited on a mommy/kid retreat for spring break. It was fun but at the same time, we were still being mom's and this time single moms! I was only 1/2 mom since the two older boys went with dad to my eldest son's baseball tournament. The trip was great, we swam, knitted, played games and tried our darnedest to get the kids in bed on time. Black Butte is a beautiful vacation retreat with homes, wildlife, recreation and such. We couldn't ride bikes or do much outside as we had a late spring snow storm. I did however shovel a 75ft driveway with another gal. That makes up for all the junk food we ate, right? The trip was fabulous but I was gone for five whole days so let's see....five days of laundry, five days of office catch up, five days of behind and I'm still editing photo's for a couple of shoots I've had recently and again....the list, it doesn't stop! (aren't you all glad I took the time to write on my blog today) :)

I would love some advice for a true ADD mom who keeps piling it on her plate and can't seem to figure out where it ends. My husband gave me a good slap last night as we were chatting. I was informed that the parent who handled sponsorships for our high school baseball team was no longer involved this year and no one had picked up the slack. As I was walking out of the room just smiled and said..."Maybe I'll give the coach a call tomorrow and see if I can help" REALLY! WHY DON'T YOU JUST ADD MORE TO THE LIST" he yells and then he started laughing like a crazy person. Hmm, I guess you have a point. It just came out of my mouth! It has to be done and if I don't do it, no one will. How do you handle this? How do you stop doing and finish what you have started? Where do we draw the line? ponder that while I go finish hanging and tagging the 12 bins of outgrowns I'm putting into a consignment sale next week....ugh!~

Finding Your Inner Mommy....

Motherhood, parenting, raising, leading.....What does being a parent mean to you? Yes, you become a parent when they pull that baby out the old fashioned way or you choose to have a child join your family. However they arrive, you gain the title "Parent". What does this really mean though. I have gone through the good, the bad and the ugly with all four of my offspring. We have fallen and knocked out teeth, received multiple stitches and casts, three of my curtain climbers have gone under the knife and let's not start on the whole bodily fluid/solid events. With all of this happening in my life, one might say I am always cool as a cucumber. This has all started to change with the last little turkey. I now am a proud reader of "Raising the spirited child" She cried, a lot, she was needy, not self-soothing, and now, as a "spirited three year old, has a mouth like a truck driver, knows exactly how to piss off her sister and not get caught, is a biter, a hitter, hides favorite things, and is frickin' funny as hell! It's so hard to be mad at her!

My daughter has also had mediocre health the past year or so and we have undergone a bazillion tests with no end in sight. I'm not worried, I don't think there is anything life-threatening going on, but wow, it has rattled me silly. I have started to second guess my pediatrician whom I adore. We have been with her for over 13 years! I'll admit it, I kinda love her. She knows my children, I see her at work, she spends time talking and listening. What I realized though, is she is busy and busy doesn't have time to research the unknown. I still know I am not being a crazy parent because she has even commented at how calm I am.

With her blessings, we went to see an N.D. Our pediatrician has also sent out a referral for an allergist but and I just received a letter today from insurance that they have denied us to see the specialist because of an "Undiagnosed infections disease" and her records don't show adequate need for the allergy testing. What the? So she basically needs to need a massive attack to see a specialist? I'm a little dumbfounded. I'm going to appeal but I'm not sure how long this is going to take. Luckily the little chicken isn't actively ill right now. 'Nuff said.....tomorrow we go in for our 10th blood draw in 2 months (I might be exaggerating a bit) and hopefully we will know more after that. So basically, we sit in health system limbo hoping that no diagnosis is a good diagnosis and nothing gets "worse" It's hard to have her be "sick" but not really. She's not bed ridden but she looks horrible. All of her symptoms are ....almost something but not quite. That said, I will keep being my child's advocate and appreciate her funny self every day.

So what else is making me a parent at this time of my life? Sending out graduation announcements for my oldest right now. Talking to my next son about girls and how to treat them, why what his remark to me right now probably wasn't the most respectful to an adult and we need to watch what we say, talking to them all about grades and success, helping my 5 year become an avid reader and learn to love her cello. Everyday something new and exciting happens that makes me love motherhood and everyday, they get a day older and I think to myself.....maybe we should have just one more. I do have another stroller I want to buy......

OK so that's that for today. And with that note, Baby Gizmo is on day 12 of their stroller giveaway! today's ride is a bumbleride flite! Woohooo. Who doesn't love a supreme umbrella stroller. Check it out at www.babygizmo.com and enter to win. They are doing a giveaway every day for 30 days!